It may surprise some people that 13years after my Mum died, with a multitude of other losses sprinkled along the way - not to mention the fact my profession is grief - that I still need these reminders from time to time. When you experience a loss, it can be hard to remain free from the trap of placing expectations upon ourselves that we would never dream of placing upon someone else because as the old saying goes, we are our harshest critics.

For a long time, I felt like the odd one out and as though my grief didn’t fit in with the norms of what society teaches us grief should look like. I believed (and was never taught otherwise) that grief was cookie-cutter, five-stages-and-then-you-move-on kind of response. Today marks 13 years since I last saw my Mum and I’ve been reflecting on the things I wish I knew about grief, as a teenager who was simply trying to understand her new landscape.

Does saying goodbye to a calendar year mean saying goodbye to my person?